Tag Archives: Txt


For those of you who haven’t read the tidbit of newsrotica about Gov. Mark Sanford’s weird tryst in Argentina, check it out here or here or here.  Here is the text message conversation I had with Mark while he was “hiking” with some Argentine lady.

Liam:  Where r u??????

GovMarky:  hikin

Liam:  Liar.  Every1 is freaking out.

GovMarky:  y?

Liam:  Cuz Joel is lying like crazy and no1 knows where u r.  Not even Jenny or the boiz.

GovMarky:  Im fine.

Liam:  If u tell me where you are I won’t tell anyone.  Promise.

GovMarky:  Cross your heart?

Liam:  Yep.

GovMarky:  ill waterboard u if you tell

Liam:  lol its not torture jk

GovMarky:  lol 4 serius

Liam:  k so?  where u at gov?

GovMarky:  Argentina

Liam:  WUT??? Y???

GovMarky:  can’t help it if i luv the latina spices

GovMarky:  :-p

Liam:  Ur cheatin?

GovMarky:  I’m cryin’.  Been cryin’ for 5 dayz.  Comin’ home 2morrow.

Liam:  And after all the grief you gave to Bill C.?  How do you explain yourself?

GovMarky:  don bring that up.  he was a dem.

Liam:  Hippocrite.

GovMarky:  Homo.

GovMarky:  Homocrit.

Liam:  I think u just game up with a term for all those repubs who are screwin dudes and banning gay marr.

GovMarky:  lol at least mine is a lady…

GovMarky:  u wanna grab a beer 2gether when I get back?


This is a true story about Reina Hardesty, a 13-year old girl who sent 14,538 TEXT MESSAGES in a month.  It inspired me to write an imagined text message conversation between me and Reina.

~ReInA~:  @ mall

Liam:  What?

~ReInA~: hey were r u?

Liam:  At home as always.  You?

~ReInA~: lolz @ mall

Liam:  Oh.  I think I read about you on the news today.

~ReInA~: lolz oopz

Liam:  Were those all to me?

~ReInA~: Duno

Liam:  I’m impressed.  Clearly I have an adversary.

~ReInA~:  wt

Liam:  You’re not making any sense.

~ReInA~: f

Liam: oh ok.  I see you were trying to type wtf

~ReInA~:  h

Liam:  Never mind.  I never thought I’d say this and mean it, but don’t text me anymore.

~ReInA~:  y?

Liam:  Because you have a problem.  You’re just texting letters at this point.  Maybe try saying something  that has some imp

Liam (page 2):  act.

~ReInA~:  Oh.  I see the error of my wayz.

~ReInA~:  *ways